Executive Caregivers: Managing Work and Elderly Parents

Intro VO  00:05

Welcome to revenue rehab, your one stop destination for collective solutions to the biggest challenges faced by marketing leaders today. Now head on over to the couch, make yourself comfortable and get ready to change the way you approach revenue. Leading your recovery is modern marketer, author, speaker and Chief Operating Officer at Tegrita Brandi Starr

Brandi Starr  00:34

Hello, hello hello and welcome to another episode of revenue rehab. I am your host Brandi Starr and we have another amazing episode for you today. I am joined by Kim Barnes. Kim has spent 30 plus years on the air. She was an award winning reporter and news anchor for 15 years. Kim works with her former sportscaster husband, as barns team media, where they work with executives, entrepreneurs, speakers and small business owners who want to improve their on camera presence for video virtual presentations, media interviews, as well as public speaking. Kim and Mike also have parents in their 80s and are navigating long distance caregiving. They launched parenting aging parents in 2021 to help others trying to help their parents. Parenting aging parents provides content connection and community so that caregivers don't feel alone and have the information they need to navigate this challenging time. Pap has a website with 80 Plus expert interviews. And they lead a private Facebook group with more than 9000 adult children. They like to say we are in this together. Kim, welcome to revenue rehab, your session begins now.

Kim Barnes  01:57

Thank you so much for having me. I'm glad to be with you.

Brandi Starr  01:59

I am excited to have you this is such a timely topic for me. And so you know really looking forward to hearing your experience and your advice. But before we jump in, I like to break the ice with a little Woosah moments that I call buzzword banishment. So tell me what buzzword would you like to get rid of forever.

Kim Barnes  02:24

It is a collection of them, which is all the jargon and acronyms that are used in the senior industry, they throw out terms like ADL and il CCRC SNF, or call it sniff and it is so confusing making you know, really an already overwhelming situation even more complicated. So if we could try to use the real words and explain what they are, it would probably make things a whole lot easier.

Brandi Starr  02:50

Yeah. And I think there's you know, every industry has that jargon. Because you know, in marketing, we use MQL, and ABM and XML and all these sorts of things. And I think every industry people are like, just speak English like Exactly, Yeah

Kim Barnes  03:05

TV has its own whole set of of jargon as well. But I think that especially for people who are in that industry, when you come in, and it is true in any industry that it's like, it just makes you feel like you are confused, and you don't know and you feel dumb. And when you're stressed that makes it even worse.

Brandi Starr  03:21

 Yes. Well, now that we've gotten that off our chest, tell me what brings you to revenue rehab today

Kim Barnes  03:30

one of the things that we have seen is that there are so many adult children, and there are people who are going through challenges with their parents and just or getting to that age, or just knowing that it's going to be in their future. And nobody talks about it. And so while you're managing your work and your family and your personal life and everything else that's going on, you have these things going on in the background, and you feel like nobody understands, I don't know what I'm doing. And it just makes it really easy to feel like you're the only person going through it. When the truth is there's all these services and providers out there who can help you if you just knew what to Google.

Brandi Starr  04:09

Yeah, and this is so timely for me, you know, right before this, I'm trying to make sure there's no bags in my eyes because spent last night in the emergency room with my mom. And you know, I am her I'm an only child on my mom's side. And so you know, she's in her 70s Now, and dealing with all sorts of things and it is really a balance of I gotta go and be at the hospital, make sure she's okay. But then I also still have meetings first thing in the morning and a small child to get off to school and all those sorts of things and talking to other executives in my circle. You know, it's like they're dealing with their own health issues, having to care for their parents, and also still having minor children. And so it's almost like a triple whammy. So really, really excited to talk to you today and to hear your experience. And I believe in setting intentions that gives us focus that gives us purpose and most important, it gives our audience an understanding of what they should expect from our discussion. So what's your best hopes for today? What would you like people to take away from the discussion, hopefully, encouragement,

Kim Barnes  05:25

as well as there are so many things that you can do now to be planning ahead, whether you are knowing this is coming, or even if you're in the middle of the thick of it right now is what are the things that you can be planning the conversations you can be having the things that you can be proactive about, so that it doesn't take the crisis away, it doesn't keep you from having to go to the emergency room, potentially in the middle of the night. But hopefully, you have at least some of the things in it already taken care of. So that it lowers that crisis level.

Brandi Starr  05:55

Okay, and that is exactly where I want to start is the pro activity because that was my situation went from my mom being very independent, active, no health issues went in for what was seemingly a small procedure, and life completely changed. And I was very much blindsided didn't know a ton about her medical history, or, you know, any of the things. And then all of a sudden, it went from, you know, this is the person that I was still able to be in the air quotes, child roll. Sure, too. Now, I'm making, you know, life changing medical decisions, and balancing medicine times, and doctor's appointments, and all these sorts of things. And I was not at all prepared, like, you know, I think it was a bit spoiled, because my mom historically had not had any health issues. So my question for you is, you know, for people who recognize that they have aging parents that are still, you know, in relatively good health and independent, what should we be thinking about? While things are, you know, still air quotes normal,

Kim Barnes  07:10

right. And I think y'all got kind of five different topics that we can touch on. I think that's such an important point is, it's so much easier to have these conversations, when it is sort of hypothetical, when it is, hey, just kind of trying to get a sense of how things are going and what things I need to know about so that I can help if needed, when needed. Because, as you experience firsthand, when it is in that stressful moment, you're thinking, Well, I don't know, if she had a flu shot this year, you know, why would i She's never told me that before, you know, I don't know what Medicare plan she's on. And because those were things that they took care of my mom also was very independent, she was single, but she was very independent, and have been taking care of herself for a long time. And so I she hadn't shared decisions she was making about things like that. So I think that one of the places that can start with is your siblings, if you have them. And you know, the challenging, you mentioned that you're an only child, the challenge, the benefit of that is that you don't have to agree with anybody else you don't have to have other people to discuss with. Also, though, that puts all the burden on you, which can be tricky, too. But when it comes to siblings, you know, making sure that you're all on the same page. Because there there are a funny thing called family dynamics, that, you know, may have been an issue when you were growing up, especially in a family with multiple kids. Who was the favorite, who was always getting in trouble, who was always asking mom for money, you know, all of those kind of funny things that were going on, when we were growing up, or even in high school, seemingly just come crashing back now that we're adults, and now we're having to try to make decisions for this person who is our parent, so, you know, figuring out, you know, being able to talk to them about, you know, how do you how can you be on the same page? How do you play to the strengths of the relationships and or the skills because I may have a different relationship with my mom than my brother does? And you know, how can we use that to best help our mom, so the siblings are kind of the first place to start. Housing is another one, because you need to sort of know what are their desires? And what are their wishes? Does mom or dad want to stay at home? Are they open to an independent living, and even when they may be set on? You know, I'm for sure staying in my home, which was what my mom said, until, you know, forever, but also what are they open to when things happen? And maybe that's not ideal anymore. And so those are some of the conversations you know, we can go more into that if you want but so it's it's housing, its finances, knowing, not that you have to know down to the penny. And some parents are a little bit resistant to this because they don't want you all in their business. And we can talk more about that too. But if you don't have it Given a sense of, do they have a pension? Do they have a formal? You know, do they have a 401k? Do they get what? How much did they get in Social Security? You know, do they have debt, you know, those kinds of things, it makes it really hard for you to be able to help them make decisions, if they need in home care, you know, 24/7, which can cost upwards of $20,000 a month for 24/7 care? Well, that's not sustainable very long, if at all, you know, so those finances are important, legal, you know, what can we do to make sure that do we have all the legal documents that they need? And that we might need to be able to step in and help? And then, yeah, go ahead.

Brandi Starr  10:39

Yeah, I was gonna say, so what I'm hearing is the key takeaway is having these conversations, yeah. And getting them to spell these things out. While things are good. And making sure and so you said finances, housing, insurance,

Kim Barnes  11:01

legal, and they're having those conversations with their siblings. And then one other one, which is kind of funny, but so important in today's world is passwords to do you know how to get into their email, do you know how to get into their phone, you know, do they pay their bills online, and if they're in the hospital, and not able to take care of that, are you able to step in and be able to help them. So those passwords get really important, really fast, because you can't access a lot of that, I also use passwords to be able to help my mom, make sure that she's not getting scam emails, too. So there's other ways that you can kind of use that to depending on where they are. And I think that it doesn't have to be just, let's just have this one conversation today. And it's, it's sort of like the old relationship talk of when you're first dating, but we need to have the talk. It doesn't have to be that dramatic, it can be depending on your relationship with your parents and how they might react. But it can also be something that you start and do a little bit at a time, so that it doesn't feel so I'm all in your business. And I'm being super nosy. And I'm, you know, and kind of daunting for them as well. You know, if you think about where your paperwork is in your files, and things like that, finding all that information and getting your fingers on it all the time isn't necessarily super easy. So you don't want to stress them out. It's more of a coming from a place of love and wanting to be able to make sure that you're in a position that you can help them more easily.

Brandi Starr  12:24

Okay. So I want to shift gears a little bit and talk about the caregiver, and what they go through. Because, you know, I'd say, some people are prepared and more proactive, others not so much. But when you are, there's, I think there's kind of two situations that happen. One is where the parenting your parent happens gradually. And I think to a certain degree, it happens for all of us that, you know, becomes the simple things like I got to know your passwords to make sure you're not getting scammed. And then over time, you know, it becomes more and more to there being a situation where you're thrust into that. There's a lot of emotion that comes with that as an individual. And a lot of like, you know, sense of responsibility and accountability, while you also have to balance. You know, as I mentioned, raising your own family being, you know, a leader in an organization having a demanding role. And I know that you and your husband have been through that. So I'd love to hear some of your thoughts and advice for people in how they take care of themselves and process it and what they should be thinking about for themselves in being able to be a caregiver.

Kim Barnes  13:48

Yeah, because we are so in the thick of it. Just this morning, my husband was trying to get help his dad with something on the computer and was about to pull his hair out. No, go this way. No, no, no. On the right side, you know, and that's just a minor challenge. I think the first place where it starts, excuse me, I think the first place where it starts is acknowledging that you are a caregiver. And what I mean by that is when I first went even when we first started parenting aging parents, I was hesitant to use that term because I thought, in my mind, a caregiver is the person who's giving baths who's helping them change their clothes, who's fixing meals for them, who's just that hands on caregiving. And yet, with my mom living in a different city for me, I'm not doing that. And she's still independent enough that she doesn't need that help. But what I realized is that, oh, wait, I did spend an hour and a half on the phone with her insurance company today, trying to figure out this referral. I did schedule her doctor's appointments, I did make sure that her prescriptions were refilled on time. And I also did a little tech support and also check your email and and and and I realized, oh, somebody acknowledged somebody who's in the industry said no, that's caregiving. You're really, it's whenever you're having to spend that mental energy and focus on somebody else, you're caring for them, just like we do for our children. But I think that it's so one, it's acknowledging that, wow, this is taking more of my time than I had imagined, or maybe even counted for. And a lot of times, as you mentioned, you know, the audience of CMOs and CROs, I mean, you're, typically when you're around our age ish, or at the age, when you're at that level, you are, you do have a big job. And you're and have a lot of responsibilities. And this is also the time that you typically find yourself in this position. So I think, one, it's acknowledging that, yes, I am a caregiver. And so I need to make space for that, if that makes sense, whether it's talking about it, getting the help, and the help and support that you need, finding those ways to be able to take that little bit of time for yourself so that you can, you know, put you we've all heard the example, when you're on a plane, they always say, you know, put the oxygen mask on yourself first, and then the person that you're assisting. So I think you have to be able to keep yourself in good health, because otherwise you're not any good to the person you're caring for. And so it's doing, you know, what, what are the things that I need to do, while also balancing it. And then there's also the emotions of guilt, and stress and confusion, and all of those other things. And frankly, sometimes there's a little, there's grief involved, because you're watching the person that you've always looked to as your parent. And as oftentimes the person who has the answers knows, you know, is the person I go to when I need something. And yet, now, that person isn't quite the same person they were. And so there's grief involved. So it's really having just to be aware that that's coming in and acknowledge it so that you can address it.

Brandi Starr  16:51

And I think you hit on two really key points that I want to call out, which is the acknowledgement that you are a caregiver. Because yeah, I had one, I have one of my best friends, she's that straight talk friend who is always gonna, you know, tell you like it is and we were talking about something. And, you know, she was like, It's hard being a caregiver. And I was like, you know, I was like, Well, you know, that's not my role, like, she still lives on her own. And she was just kind of like, exactly like you like, No, you know, you're doing the and, and, and, and, you know, even just really internalizing and accepting that, that is a hat that I wear now, and that I do have to make space for that. And to, you know, like give the same way that I'm thinking about my son who's nine, and how I need to provide for him. There's another train of thought there. And I think the other thing that I hadn't thought about till you just said it is there is a grief factor there in recognizing that, that, you know, because in having some of the emotions that I feel, I had not been able to put my finger exactly on what I was feeling. And as soon as you said that, it was kind of like, you know, aha, like that is grief of not that the person is not with you at all, but that this is not the same person that they once were. Yeah. And it is forming a new relationship. At that point. There's a new dynamic there. And I do think that that is something that likely weighs really heavy on people that they probably don't think about, you know, you always want to have the like, I'm just thankful they're still here. And while that is true, of course, they are different.

Kim Barnes  18:53

Yeah, it's I mean, I had never heard the term before we did an interview with a man and it's called anticipatory grief. And it and when I learned about that, it made so much sense to me, because so much of my frustration or impatience, frankly, that I have with my mom often is because she's not remembering things. And, and I can't teach her things and the way that you think about when you're working with your children as they're growing up, because you're teaching, they're learning and they're, they're grasping, and they're, and they're not going to ask that same question again, or they're going to have learned that skill or whatever it is. And unfortunately, my mom has beginning earlier stages of mixed dementia. And so when there are those short term memory challenges, I can't necessarily teach her, you know, I can I can tell her how to, you know, look in the email and see who the email is really from not that it says it's from PayPal or from BestBuy or from Amazon or whatever. And it really is, you know, 787 at hotmail.com And I'm like, that is not Yahoo. You know, that is not Amazon. So As much as I want to teach her how to correct and watch for that, with dementia, it's not really possible. And so I think there's that grief of man, she's not grasping the things that I'm teaching, or that I want to share with her, or she's not remembering the conversations that we had. And so it's it's sad. I mean, it really is hard because it's so I think when I finally put it sort of a word to it, or a name to it, I thought, oh, okay, that explains why I get impatient. Now, can I now that I am aware of that, can I try to not be as impatient be a little bit more empathetic? And I say, try, because I don't I 100% Do not do this? Well, most of the time, I have to remind myself all the time. But I think that just helps you look at it a little bit differently, perhaps, where it might give you more patients.

Brandi Starr  20:54

And then something else you mentioned a bit ago was also the guilt. And so I want to come back to that because I know, you know, you talk about mommy guilt all the time. And you know, I know dads experience it, as well. But that, you know, when you have to balance, you know, your career with your family, and all these sorts of things, you feel that guilt when you're not there. When you add caring for an aging parent, it is another demand on your time. And there are places where you do have that guilt. And I know, you know, I experience it a lot. Like, you know, even being here today, people are like, Oh, you're not still at the hospital. And I'm like, No, I can't just sit there all day. Like, I'm not a doctor, I'm literally sitting in a chair, in a blanket eating hospital food, like I'm not helping. And so no, I need to come and be here and you know, handle my work responsibilities and my home responsibilities. And, but then at the same time, there is a little bit of that guilt of like, okay, I've left her sitting in the hospital alone. And, you know, or like, you know, I've had situations where I've been on a business trip, and I've had to get someone else to go take her to the hospital, and then it's like, do I get on a plane and go back? Do I handle this thing? And then you know, and it's, I am thankful to even being an only child have a strong support system of friends who, you know, have no problem, you know, leaning in, in my absence, but it still does not take away that strong guilty feeling of, I'm not there, or I'm not the one doing this. And so, how do you, you know, what advice do you give to people, because I think I feel that guilt more so caring for my mom, because I recognize that, you know, her time on this earth is only gonna be so long than I do with the mommy guilt of like, it feels almost like natural, like balancing raising a kid and having a career. Like, that's just kind of what you do like that feels almost more normal. Whereas the guilt on the other side pulls on me so much more, just because I'm like, Ah, no, you know, there's only so much more time. So what do you, you know, how do you speak to the guilt piece and that that tug and pull that people feel?

Kim Barnes  23:27

I think some of it is the same that you do with your children, where you were where if you can feel like, I'm doing the very best I can in the situation, and then the time and place where I am right now. I mean, easy to say hard to feel sometimes. And also, I think it's maybe it's even having conversations with your parent. Because for for the most part, most of our parents would not want to feel like I'm preventing you from excelling in your career or being the best mom that you can be. You know what I mean? So I think there's, there is that fine line sometimes. And I will tell you that leading a community of now more than 11,000 people, we see questions and things posed about this issue all the time, because there are people who will say my parents won't let anyone in the house, except for me. So it puts a huge responsibility on them to where then they do feel guilty and resentful, and some other things, you know, all those other emotions that might come up because the parents aren't willing to let anybody but them. And and so I think it's, you know, can you have conversations with them? And do you want to be their daughter and have that relationship? Or are you their caregiver? And that means more so when you're actually having to do that physical hands on care and that kind of thing. And not that you can't do both? But I think it's really it's thinking through the relationship that you have with them what your bandwidth is and what your availability is. And then also, you know, then there are also different family time namics and family relationships and family expectations, frankly, that come into play. There are differences sometimes with whether it's culturally or just historically in your family, and what you've seen, you know, where parents are expected to live with their children. And that's just the way it is. And you have a multi generational house, there are other situations where, like my grandparents who lived to be 95, and 98, moved into an independent living. So my mom, even though she didn't want wasn't interested at first, she at least had seen that modeled, if you will. So that seemed, and she'd seen her parents thrive in that environment as well. So I think that the long and the long way around that, I guess is with that is, how do you how do you have those conversations so that you can feel like, I'm doing the very best that I can. And that my, my parent realizes that. And I do think the challenge is that this is our parent, this is the parent who raised us who we might have given them some trouble, you know, growing up as teenagers and stress them out a little bit. And so you feel like, okay, this was my payback, if you will, for, for being, you know, whatever it was that the troublemaker that you are the trouble that you caused in high school or growing up, that that is your chance to pay them back, if you will. But I think that you still have to just be true to yourself to the fact of am I doing the very best that I can with the situation. And in the time and abilities that I have. There are some people who quit their job and go literally to do a full time caregiving move from you know, across the country to be closer to their parents. And that's a decision that you have to make, and nobody can make that for you. You have to just be able to feel this is the decision that I'm making, because this is what I believe or what I think is the right thing, and not necessarily do it. Because that's what I see other people doing. And that's what I should do. Because there's there gets into a lot of that as well. A lot of judgment. Yeah.

Brandi Starr  27:03

Yeah. And so couple things. One, you just made me think about something in talking about in your relationships, in having that conversation around, what are the expectations because I'm single and sort of dating. And I can remember talking to a guy, and his parents are kind of getting up in age and based on their culture, it is an expectation that both his parents, if I were to marry him, would come live with us, right. And whereas I know my mom, and I have a great understanding that she knows I will pay for the best care, living whatever, but we don't do under the same roof like that, you know, isn't a dynamic that works for us. And so I'm like, you know, this was a deal breaker for me in dating this guy, because I'm like, that's not what I want. You know, I don't want to be a full time caregiver. And so I think that is something and you know, I've been married before. And in that conversation, I know that or in that relationship. I know, we never had that conversation around what happens when our parents age. And so I think you just added another dynamic of conversation that needs to happen, whether it's with a current spouse or a potential partner in terms of like, what does this look like for you in your family? And to be able to understand if, you know, you're okay with that. And so I'm like, I need to put that on my dating profile

Kim Barnes  28:41

Yeah, add that to the list of questions. I need to, you know, like, Okay, how tall are you? Okay, what do you do with your parents in the future? Yes.

Brandi Starr  28:50

But that is, you know, that is a different layer that I hadn't even thought about is that you have an obligation to your parents, but then you may potentially also have a spouse or significant other, and that impacts their life

Kim Barnes  29:04

as well. Yeah, for sure. For sure.

Brandi Starr  29:07

And then the last thing, you you sort of hinted at this, but is resources. So, you know, you talked about some people making the decision to leave their jobs to be a full time caregiver. I recently learned from a friend that you know, there are different programs that can potentially pay you not a huge salary, but pay, you know, some sort of living expenses for you to be that caregiver. And I know that there are all sorts of different options for how to either you know, do it yourself, get resources for your parents, and so I'd love to hear you know, if people are trying to figure this all out, where do they start? What should they be Googling, you know, what are some of the things because it is very much a you don't know what you don't know and So I'd love to, you know, kind of as we wrap up here, if people are figuring this out, what sort of things should they be looking at, or what sort of resources are potentially available?

Kim Barnes  30:12

The first thing and the whole reason why we started parenting aging parents was the fact that we felt like nobody talks about it. And as you don't child, you've never done this before, and you don't even know what you're supposed to be looking for. And one of the one of our goals is to really be can we be that one stop shop, if you will, as far as can you come and get get understanding of what are the what, what are the things that I need to know that I don't know. So you know, one of the things we've done is, we have more than 90 interviews now on our website, on all different kinds of topics, from downsizing to legal to sundowning, to different types of dementia to I mean, you name it, a neurologist of music, therapy, I mean, all of Social Security, Medicare, all of those kinds of topics. So we have lots of interviews, to be able to help you understand more of what's going on. And, frankly, sometimes just give you the right questions to ask or understand the terminology, all that jargon that you might need to know. So I think it's knowing that there are resources out there, one of the things that we found too, is that it's very scattered, there's a lot of information out there. But if you type in, you know, Senior Living, you're gonna get inundated with, you know, ads, and all kinds of things that you don't know really what it all what it all means. So finding, knowing first that there are those resources and services out there who can help you, we didn't know that there was a thing called a senior care advisor who can help you potentially find a community, which might be the right fit, if you are looking for your parent to move. That was why this whole thing started. Because when my husband was looking for memory care for his mom, she didn't know that existed. And so they just picked four places that were in the area where his parents lived. And they went in and they're talking to language, he doesn't understand he was super confused. And the way they chose out of the four places was one of the places, one of his sister got a little bit, you know, just a little bit like, gosh, this is really hard. And one of the ladies gave her a little hug. And they walked out and they said, well, they were nice. And that's how they chose, you know, which it's been a great fit, she's been taken very, very well taken care of. But that's probably not the only factor you should consider. So I think it's knowing that there are resources, where can you find them. And knowing that you don't have to recreate the wheel. One, one entity that exists around the country is the Area Agency on Aging. And it is a government funded program that each state has and every major city has, as well. And so that can be a great first stop, if you will, if you're looking for different programs that might be available specifically in your area, because it is different, some of the things are different state to state, community to community as far as what resources might be available, but that can be just a good kind of, if you do Area Agency on Aging, New Jersey, or Atlanta or Austin, or you know, a city, a major city, it's going to pull up something that might at least give you a first place to start. And then of course, you know, join our you can join our community, which we now have more than 11,000 people from around the country. So there are people with a vast number of resources that that they've used. And because we just really felt like when we do talk about this hard stuff, we can help each other. And I you know, if your mom gets scammed call me because I've been through that I know, the safeguards and things to correct that, you know, not all of them, but a lot of them so we can share the experiences that we've had to be able to help somebody else as well.

Brandi Starr  33:38

Yeah, we have a mandate over here. Don't click anything is yes. Yeah, install anything. Don't click anything.

Kim Barnes  33:47

We afford it to us. We get emails all the time from my mother in law, and from my mom saying, should I should I delete this? You know, because it's like, yes, that is that is not from who you think it who they think it's who it says it is? Because it's not really from that? Yeah,

Brandi Starr  34:02

she will screenshot it to me all the time. And like she knows, like, do not click anything, do not install anything.

Kim Barnes  34:10

You're not talking to anybody who comes to your door. I mean, it is it is frightening the numbers of stories that we hear of parents getting scammed in so many different ways. And you really do have to be proactive with that have those conversations, make sure that they're aware that this is happening and that they are there people are targeting them, and especially for those that are still maintaining their own finances and, and you know, still very independent. I mean, there's things that I get text messages that are FedEx your package delivery, click here, and I'm like, No, that's a scam. But I mean, so we can imagine that we've been we're so much more used to this than our parents and so it's so much easier for them to get scammed and just be convinced that something is real when it's not.

Brandi Starr  34:55

Yeah, and AI is making that worse with all the AI voice scams. Like I with my mom with my grandparents, I have made sure to have we have like a safe question like, if you think it's me calling for help asking me this, yeah, something that, you know, they're not going to know the answer to if it's not actually, yes.

Kim Barnes  35:16

Our kids yeah, we're like, a family secret word that if somebody says we're here to get you, and they don't know the secret word, you know, they're not that great haven't have a secret word or or phrase with your parents? That's a great idea.

Brandi Starr  35:30

Yeah, it is, it is. And that's, you know, sort of the takeaway is a lot of the things you implement with your kids is the same sort of things, you know, they say, it's kind of that arc of like, we come in, in diapers, we go out in diapers. So it is a little bit of the same things will come I have enjoyed this conversation so much, it has been very therapeutic for me. And I feel like I've gotten some really good resources. So I'm definitely going to check out the Facebook group. And so before we go, how, what's the best way for our audience to connect with you,

Kim Barnes  36:08

the easiest place to go is to find us is on our website, just parenting aging parents.com that has access to all the interviews that we've done some other resources, as well as a button that you can click to take you to the Facebook group, if you want to join, we also have a as I talked about all the jargon, we actually have a decoder that we created, which is about 100 plus of the most common acronyms so that you can at least know what they mean and what they what they stand for, and what they mean a little bit. But that's probably the easiest place to to find this is start at the website, and then you can lead on to the to the Facebook group. And of course, we're on LinkedIn and, and on Facebook as well. Awesome.

Brandi Starr  36:44

Well, we will make sure that we link to parenting aging parents, from anywhere that you are listening or watching this podcast, so that you can connect with Kim and get the resources that you need.

Kim Barnes  36:58

And I forgot to mention, we also have this handy little book, the caregivers key, which is a great way place to put all that important information so that if you have to go to the hospital, you have all that information about oh, here are their medical situation, here's their prescriptions, but it gives you places for housing and financial and, and all their passwords and all that kind of stuff as well. Oh, awesome,

Brandi Starr  37:18

that as I say, we'll have to check that out as well. Because I do have I'm looking at my desk now I have like three envelopes that my grandma's sent me that is, you know, information on this, that or the other that I'm like, oh, I need to scan this and put it somewhere. But right now it's just sitting on my desk. So tracking that stuff is important, for sure.

Kim Barnes  37:38

For sure. Well, it's been a pleasure. And I hope that this has served you and your audience as well, just to know that you there are things you can do to be prepared and to be proactive instead of having to wait until there's that crisis, because then you're going to be even more stressed out than you already are.

Brandi Starr  37:53

Yes, I agree. Well, again, thank you so much. And thanks, everyone for joining us. I hope that you have enjoyed my discussion with Kim. I can't believe we're at the end. We'll see you next time.

Outro VO  38:08

You've been listening to revenue rehab with your host Brandi Starr. Your session is now over but the learning has just begun. join our mailing list and catch up on all our shows at revenue we have that like we're also on Twitter and Instagram at revenue we have. This concludes this week's session. We'll see you next week.